Summer Mom Guilt

With summer upon us, kids out of school, and trying to manage the demands of home life and work life, “mom guilt” can start to amplify. Most of us feel the weight of mom guilt throughout the entire year, particularly at the times for many moms when our children highlight the ways we are not fully present, their upset about us missing an important event, or telling us they want to spend more time together, or in those moments when we finally have a break for ourselves and we feel the weight that we must be doing something productive. Mom guilt in the summer can be even louder than other times in the year as there is the usual pressures of the juggling act between work and home life, along with coordinating camps and/or care, and the weight many moms feel to create lasting childhood summer memories. With these added responsibilities we feel, it can lead to increase in anxiety, and feeling burnout. I have had those summers in the past particularly during the summers of covid, when I felt completely run down by August, thinking to myself I thought summer was supposed to be the time to recharge, not burnout. With these moments in time, I tap into what I know and what I have learned along the journey thus far, and pivot to see how I can support myself differently. Please find below 4 possible ways you can cope with summer mom guilt and support yourself to have a more fulfilling summer:

1. Acknowledge and redirect your inner critic. It is important to acknowledge what is showing up for you, as it also provides insight into patterns you may find yourself in. For redirecting your inner critic, instead of looking at all the things you are not doing, shift into reflecting upon all the things you are already doing and helping yourself highlight these. This could be talking it out with someone you trust, journalling about these, or making a sticky note to remind yourself of what you are doing.  
2. Self-compassion. When we have given space for our inner critic, we can shift gears into building our inner coach/helper. We can provide ourself words of encouragement, and find a mantra that resonates to help you stay on track as you move forward. For some this may be “I need to take care of myself in order to show up as my best self for the kids”, “I am setting an example of how to create balance, and part of this is being kind and giving myself grace” or “The fact that I am experiencing mom guilt shows me just how much I care about my kids”.
3. Reduce the load. Most studies show we should be doing 30% less than what we have in our schedules. Most are overscheduled and do not have enough downtime, children included.
4. Find the balance. When you reduce the load, you have cleared some of the clutter, which can help you evaluate the situation to see a step you can work towards to achieve more balance. For example, if you only have one day in the week to do a fun activity with your child, only plan for one activity in the morning or afternoon, and the other part of the day allow time and space for some freedom.

If you are interested in other ways to support your mental health reach out to me, I am Nicole Levy, and I am here as your helping hand, let’s get started, book your complimentary initial consult today https://www.mindfulhealingjourney.ca/#/
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