Parenting Tool: The Power of Role Modelling

​I have parents often ask what at the tools to get my child to listen and do what I ask. There is no one size fits all answer, and there is a level of complexity depending on the dynamics of your family. With the right tools, parents can improve the listening in their children and also build other healthy habits. One of these ways is through role modelling, as you have a lot of power as a parent in your actions, similar to the expression your actions speak louder than words. What you say is still important as we need to verbally communicate with our children, and it is important as a parent to set limits. However, when our words align with our actions we have the greatest influence with our children. Find below some ways to start implementing the power of role modelling. 

1. Identify the behaviour. First you need to get clear on what you want your child to achieve. For example wanting your child to listen more can be vague. Instead ask yourself how do I want them to show me they are listening (eye contact, body language, no phone nearby)? Identify if their are times they listen well? Are there things getting in the way when they do not listen well (lack of sleep, hunger, overstimulation, screen nearby)?
2. Self-awareness in action. Be aware of your own behaviour and see if you are doing any things that don’t align with the behaviour you want your child to do. For example for listening, parents can often be distracted and have a lot of things on the go, however it is important to role model active listening through eye contact and body language. I know as a parent I am not doing this at times, and I try my best to notice the unhelpful behaviour I am doing it and acknowledge that to my children. This can require looking at all parts of our self even the parts we want to avoid. This is not easy and sometimes we get blocked by our own defense mechanisms, so reach out for support if you need it as you can move through the journey more effectively with a helping hand.
3. Create the opportunity. Find opportunities for your child to practice the action you want them to achieve and do it with them. For example if you want to improve listening: take turns sharing about a topic of interest for your child or play a listening game like Simon Says. If you want your child to reduce their screen time and spend more time outside then start by doing the habit with them as much as you can. Initiate the opportunities, and if you are able to do it on your own (meaning if the kids are at school, on your lunch get outside for a short walk, and notice how it feels to do it consistently as you may get more clarity on how it helps and how you motivate yourself to do it even when you have a blockage).
4. Keeping it going. Continue finding opportunities to support the new skill in different environments, and positively reinforce your child’s successes.

If you need additional support feel free to reach out, and you can also book a complimentary initial consult directly though  https://oab.owlpractice.ca/mindfulhealingjourney/booking