Parenting Tips for the People Pleaser

​With positive parenting awareness month coming to an end, I wanted to dedicate this last blog article in the series to the parents who are people pleasers out there. As it can be hard enough to set boundaries and say no for yourself never mind adding the situations with your child(ren). For those not familiar with positive parenting (also known as gentle parenting), it is about finding the balance between being overly restrictive and permissive parenting, the term “empathetic limits” is often used which highlights the balance between boundaries and acknowledging the emotions of the child. Read my 3 parenting tips below:

1. Be gentle with yourself and nurture self-compassion. Gentle parenting is not about perfect parenting but about being gentle with yourself (Codekas, 2024). I recognize for those who identify as people pleasers this may be challenging, as the level of discomfort can be high and the inner voice can be harsh particularly when everyone is “not happy”. If you are harsh towards yourself, it will be harder to show up for your child(ren) from a place of love and understanding, when you are not able to provide this to yourself. If you feel you need to nurture self-compassion, check out this article from Harvard Health Publishing to get you started.
2. Gradually build your capacity for boundaries. Easier said than done, as there are usually deeper reasons to why people struggling with people pleasing have challenges with boundaries. Here is a guide to setting boundaries (Sanok, 2022). If you need additional supports please consider reaching out to a professional.
3. Make time for self-care. Research and shared experience of parents supports the importance of physical, emotional and spiritual self-care. When you make the time for yourself the above becomes easier. However, I recognize for the people pleaser parent they may often put themselves last on the list, so similar to boundaries I would encourage small steps like starting with a few minutes each day or a few times a week to engage in something that “fills your cup”.

If you need additional support reach out to me, I am Nicole Levy, and I am here as your helping hand, let’s get started, book your complimentary no pressure initial consult today https://www.mindfulhealingjourney.ca/#/